He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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