Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Umm I'm too high to move.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
