It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Randomize
