I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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