I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Randomize