He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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