matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
and she was petting her beer can
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Randomize
