I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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