last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
sex in a hospital.. check
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Randomize
