I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Randomize
