We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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