I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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