Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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