I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
