Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Randomize
