I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
You pole danced in your parka.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
