I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
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