hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
They took my balls.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Randomize
