I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Randomize
