I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
