okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Randomize
