he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
