btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
Randomize
