Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
