Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
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