lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I showed him my bush... on skype.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Randomize
