I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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