he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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