found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize
