If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
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