no, he came in my armpit
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
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