I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Randomize
