quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Drake has all the answers
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
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