After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
you mean i was at the winter classic?
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
