So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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