I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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