Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
