Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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