did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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