You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
