I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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