i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Randomize
