Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
