Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Randomize
