dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Randomize
