I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Farmville is her only friend.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
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