he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
