i think my tv is drunk
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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