Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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