All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Randomize
