nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
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